What The Blog!

Today we’re talking about blogs. Where they come from, how they have survived thousands of years, and how to cook and eat one for dinner (properly, with chopsticks).

mfIR24M

don’t forget the wasabi

This blog is a distant cousin to the first blog ever, and can be traced back to the invention of the internet. Blog, standing for “Boring long oral groan”, was first used to describe the sound a person made when they saw words on the internet instead of videos. But its meaning has since shifted to represent the atmospheric rise of internet scammers who search for the most innocent looking Facebook users and bait them with titles such as “Cutest Puppy Bubbles Puppy Cats” or “Funniest Reasons You are Hotter than Puppies“.

Blogging has struggled to survive the great expanse of fleeting information on the internet amidst the more popular “images” or its most recent sibling “moving images“. Blogs have to constantly fight the urge to include pictures or videos, thus starting the metamorphosis into a different species. The words you are reading right now are part of a large effort of tireless humans that pour words into the internet hoping that some will stick into the blogosphere and keep the blog species alive for the next generation.

If you do find a good blog though, or maybe even just a singular good blog post, then you definitely should savor it. The words that make up the blog have to be timed just right and perfectly paired with punctuation. They cannot be overly humorous or serious for fear of leaving a sour or bitter taste in the mouth. Finding the right medium on which to look at these words is an entirely different discussion as well. Whether its a phablet or a hologram, the words floating in the white space of internet need to be of the freshest quality. Make sure to check if you are viewing the ripest ingredients and throw anything away that has an expiration date of two months in the past.

As this episode comes to an end, the final topic of discussion comes from a wise anecdote found in most blogs these days. To truly enjoy a blog, one must search for the words that represent a human. Humans give meat to the blog. Some humans leave a blog bloody and raw, while others cook it so hot and long that it can barely be chewed. Finding that happy medium, of perfect human spice, can be the cherry to a delicious sundae at the end of a meal. I hope that you learned a lot about blogs today and that you can use this information in the future as you surf the massive waves of information sent as bytes around the world. Just be safe and always remember, consuming raw or uncooked blogs can increase your risk of internet sickness.

For some hearty meals:
Stillmotionblog
Wait But Why

Some lighter eating:
Listful Thinking
Story time with John
Passive Aggressive Notes

Eating with your eyes:
Photographs by Timothy Allen
The antimuseum in Paris (and beyond)

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